Sadhguru explains comparison can either be a catalyst for growth or a trap of discontent; the choice lies in how you wield it. Admiring others' success should fuel motivation, not envy—your path is unique.
Article | October 12, 2024
Sadhguru: Comparisons, in all their forms, are an inevitable part of the human experience. When we are children, we are taught to assess our abilities, progress, and achievements by comparing ourselves with others—whether in school, sports, or social circles. As we grow older, this habit doesn't disappear. Instead, it intensifies in the competitive world of work, relationships, and social media, where everyone seems to display their best selves. Yet, the question remains: When is it okay to compare yourself to others?
Is it ever truly beneficial, or is it always destructive? This article delves deep into the nuances of self-comparison, exploring its potential advantages, pitfalls, and the right approach to this intrinsic aspect of human psychology.
The Nature of Comparison: Why Do We Compare Ourselves?
Humans are inherently social creatures, and much of our understanding of who we are comes from seeing ourselves about others. Psychologically, comparisons help us assess where we stand in the world. This process begins in childhood as we seek validation and understanding from our caregivers and peers. As adults, it’s often fueled by social contexts—whether professional, personal, or social media-driven.
At its core, comparison stems from our desire for growth, belonging, and purpose. We look to others for inspiration, guidance, and reassurance. While comparison can drive us toward personal growth, it can also lead to feelings of inadequacy, envy, and discontent.
Comparison can be a ladder to growth or a trap of discontent—its power lies in how we use it.
When Is Comparison Healthy?
Contrary to popular belief, comparing oneself to others isn't inherently negative. It depends on how and why we engage in these comparisons. Let's explore situations where comparisons can be a positive force for growth:
1. When It Fuels Motivation
A healthy form of comparison can inspire self-improvement. Watching someone excel in a field you're passionate about—be it sports, art, or entrepreneurship—can ignite a spark within you. Their success is a tangible example of what is possible, motivating you to push beyond your limits and achieve your goals.
For example, a writer might admire the prolific work of an author they respect and feel driven to write more frequently or take creative risks. Similarly, an athlete may use their peer’s achievements as motivation to train harder. In these cases, comparison serves as a guidepost, helping individuals realize their own potential and set higher aspirations for themselves.
However, this comparison must come from a place of admiration rather than envy. When fueled by admiration, you acknowledge that the other person’s success doesn't diminish your own. Instead, it acts as evidence of what is achievable, opening up possibilities rather than narrowing them.
Admiring others' success should fuel motivation, not envy—your path is unique.
2. When It Helps You Learn
Another positive aspect of comparison is that it can provide valuable lessons. Observing how someone approaches their goals, solves problems, or handles challenges can offer insights that you can apply to your own life. Comparing yourself in this manner allows you to learn from the experiences of others.
For instance, in a professional setting, seeing how a colleague manages time efficiently or communicates effectively can inspire you to adopt those practices. Similarly, in personal relationships, comparing how others maintain healthy communication with their partners can encourage you to reflect on and improve your own interactions.
Here, comparison isn't about measuring your worth against someone else's but about leveraging their experiences to inform your own growth. This is a constructive comparison, focused on development rather than self-deprecation.
When we compare with admiration, others’ victories show us what’s possible, not what’s missing.
3. When It Shows You What’s Possible
Sometimes, comparison is the only way we can see what is possible. If no one around us had ever achieved great things, we might not realize what heights we ourselves are capable of reaching. When someone breaks barriers—whether in scientific discoveries, artistic expression, or personal achievement—it shows us that limitations exist only in our minds.
Consider a person who dreams of becoming a successful entrepreneur. If they compare themselves to a business leader who has made a breakthrough, they may realize that success is within reach for them as well, even if it requires perseverance. The comparison acts as a lighthouse, guiding the way.
By observing others, you expand your perspective and challenge the limitations you may have subconsciously imposed on yourself. In this sense, comparison isn't about competition but about possibility and potential.
Growth is born from comparison when it’s driven by inspiration, not competition.
When Is Comparison Unhealthy?
On the flip side, comparison can be a destructive force when approached negatively. Social comparison theory, developed by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954, suggests that people determine their own social and personal worth based on how they stack up against others. This can spiral into detrimental behaviour when comparisons become obsessive or when they foster feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and depression.
Here are situations where comparison becomes unhealthy:
1. When It Breeds Envy and Resentment
Perhaps the most damaging form of comparison is one rooted in envy. When you constantly measure yourself against others in terms of what they have and what you lack, it can lead to a deep sense of resentment. This is especially common in the age of social media, where people often showcase the most glamorous aspects of their lives, leaving out the struggles and failures that are equally part of the human experience.
For instance, comparing your financial status to that of someone flaunting their wealth online, or feeling inferior to a friend who seems to have the "perfect" family life, can lead to an endless cycle of dissatisfaction. Such comparisons ignore the full picture and magnify a skewed version of reality, often causing distress over things that are only superficial or irrelevant to your true happiness.
Envy-driven comparison shifts your focus away from your own journey, blinding you to your achievements and personal growth. When you constantly yearn for what others have, you undermine your own sense of worth, leading to frustration and feelings of failure.
Comparison is not the enemy of progress unless we let it steal our joy.
2. When It Lowers Your Self-Esteem
Another significant drawback of unhealthy comparison is its potential to erode self-esteem. When you constantly place yourself in a position of inferiority relative to others, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy. Instead of seeing someone else's success as motivation, you start to question your own abilities, worth, and potential.
For instance, someone who constantly compares their physical appearance to photoshopped images of celebrities or influencers online may begin to develop body image issues. Similarly, a professional who compares their career trajectory to that of a more successful colleague might start doubting their own capabilities and feel discouraged about their prospects.
In these cases, comparison feeds a cycle of self-doubt, where you lose sight of your unique qualities, talents, and progress. Constantly measuring yourself against others can make you feel "less than," even when you're doing well in your own right.
3. When It Distracts You from Your Own Journey
Comparison can also become unhealthy when it distracts you from your own path. Everyone's life journey is different, and what works for one person may not work for another. Constantly comparing yourself to others can lead you to lose sight of your unique strengths, goals, and values.
For example, someone who aspires to be a musician might find themselves disheartened when comparing their progress to that of a prodigy who achieved success at a young age. This can lead them to abandon their dreams altogether, even though their path to success might take a different route.
In such cases, comparison becomes a distraction from personal fulfilment. Instead of focusing on your own journey and growth, you become fixated on someone else's, losing sight of what makes your path meaningful and fulfilling.
The Role of Social Media in Modern-Day Comparison
In the digital age, comparison has reached unprecedented heights due to the pervasive influence of social media. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn create an environment where people curate their lives for public consumption, often highlighting only the most polished, successful, and glamorous aspects.
Social media comparison can be particularly toxic because it fosters a distorted reality. When you're constantly exposed to images of others' achievements, vacations, and milestones, it's easy to feel like you're falling behind. The more you scroll, the more you might believe that everyone else is living a better, more exciting life than you are. This constant exposure can lead to anxiety, depression, and a sense of inadequacy.
However, social media also has the potential to offer inspiration, motivation, and connection. When used mindfully, it can expose you to stories of resilience, creativity, and progress that encourage you to strive for personal growth. The key lies in how you engage with these platforms and whether you allow them to inspire you or make you feel small.
The Right Approach to Comparison
So, when is it okay to compare yourself to others? The answer lies in your approach. Healthy comparison stems from a place of self-awareness and mindfulness. It requires a delicate balance between learning from others and staying true to your own journey.
Here are some guidelines for navigating comparisons constructively:
1. Use Comparison as a Tool for Growth, Not Validation
Comparison can be a powerful motivator when used as a tool for growth rather than a measure of self-worth. Instead of comparing yourself to others to determine your value, use their experiences as a source of learning and inspiration. Focus on what you can gain from their journey rather than what you lack.
Ask yourself: What can I learn from this person’s success? How can I apply their strategies to my own life in a way that aligns with my values?
2. Focus on Progress, Not Perfection
It's essential to remember that everyone is on their own journey, and no one’s path is perfect. Instead of comparing yourself to an idealized version of someone else, focus on your own progress. Celebrate your achievements, however small, and recognize that growth takes time.
When you compare, do so with an awareness of the full picture. Acknowledge that what you see is only one part of someone else's story and that their struggles, failures, and insecurities are likely hidden from view.
3. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful antidote to the negative effects of comparison. By focusing on what you already have and appreciating your unique strengths and accomplishments, you can shift your mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance.
Whenever you find yourself slipping into a cycle of negative comparison, take a moment to reflect on what you're grateful for in your own life. This practice helps ground you in the present and fosters a sense of contentment.
4. Limit Social Media Exposure
If you find that social media is fueling unhealthy comparisons, it may be helpful to take a break or limit your exposure to these platforms. Curate your feed to include content that uplifts and inspires you, rather than content that triggers feelings of inadequacy.
Remember, social media is a curated highlight reel, not an accurate representation of real life. Reducing your time spent on these platforms can help you reconnect with your own values and priorities.
5. Compare Yourself to Your Past Self
One of the healthiest forms of comparison is comparing yourself to who you were in the past. Instead of focusing on how you measure up to others, reflect on your own progress. How far have you come? What have you learned? How have you grown?
This kind of comparison is empowering because it centres your journey on self-improvement rather than external validation. It reminds you that your only competition is yourself and that personal growth is a continuous process.
Conclusion
Comparison, when approached mindfully, can be a tool for growth, motivation, and learning. It can inspire us to push beyond our limits, help us gain valuable insights, and show us what is possible. However, when rooted in envy, self-doubt, or distraction, it can become a destructive force that erodes self-esteem and diminishes personal fulfilment.
The key is to engage in comparison with self-awareness and intention. Use it to guide your journey, but don't let it define your worth. Remember that everyone's path is different, and the only comparison that truly matters is the one between who you are today and who you aspire to become.
