Article | September 09, 1980
Beneath the cool shade of ancient banyan trees, Sadhguru Avdhut Adwaitananda sat cross-legged in the serene courtyard of the sacred Rajrajeshwari Math, where his disciples gathered for wisdom. He gazed at his disciples, who had come from distant lands, with questions in their hearts. Some sought liberation, some peace, and others understanding of the divine mysteries of existence. In the stillness of the mountain air, the words that flowed from the lips of the enlightened master were filled with profound knowledge and experience of universal truth.
"Today, we will speak of something many of you are beginning to experience but have not yet fully understood—spiritual awakening and the matrix of your existence. When you awaken, the structure of your life, the matrix of your reality, begins to shift. Most people do not realize this, and they attempt to force themselves back into the familiar patterns of their previous existence. But I tell you this: once you awaken, do not try to reenter the same matrix. It is not possible, and it will only cause suffering."
The disciples sat in silence, their eyes wide with anticipation. They knew that what was about to be revealed was no ordinary teaching, but the essence of a truth that could unravel the knots of their inner worlds. Sadhguru Adwaitananda’s voice was steady and firm, the depth of his experience echoing in each word he spoke.
The Matrix of the Ego: Pre-Awakening Life
"Before you embark on the spiritual journey," he continued, "you live within a matrix—an illusion created by your ego, mind, and the society around you. This matrix is the sum of your conditioning. It consists of your beliefs, your identity, your desires, and your fears. Everything you know about yourself and the world is defined by this matrix, and you become deeply embedded in it. It feels real because, for most of your life, it is all you have known.
You believe that you are the body, you are the mind, and you are the roles you play in society. This matrix binds you to material existence, suffering, and endless cycles of birth and death. It is the realm of Maya, the cosmic illusion that veils the true nature of existence. Most people spend their entire lives within this matrix, never questioning its reality."
The disciples nodded. They understood this much. Many of them had felt trapped in their mundane lives, seeking something more but not knowing how to escape.
Sadhguru Adwaitananda smiled softly, reading their thoughts. "The awakening comes when you begin to question this matrix. You start to see beyond the veils and the ego that once ruled your life starts to dissolve. This is the first step—recognizing that you are not this body, not this mind, not the identity you have constructed for yourself. You begin to feel that there is something greater, something eternal and vast, which lies beyond the confines of the matrix."
The Shattering of the Old Matrix: The Awakening Experience
He paused for a moment, allowing his words to sink into the hearts of his disciples. "Spiritual awakening," he resumed, "is not just a fleeting moment of insight. It is a profound, irreversible transformation. It is as if the world you knew suddenly collapses, and you are thrown into a new realm of existence. The matrix that once defined your reality begins to crack and crumble."
Sadhguru's voice grew more intense as he described the experience. "When the awakening occurs, everything you once believed in begins to lose its power over you. The things that used to bring you happiness are no longer satisfactory. The fears that once controlled you no longer seem relevant. Your attachments to people, possessions, and roles in society start to dissolve, and you feel a profound sense of detachment. You are no longer bound by the same illusions."
The disciples sat mesmerized by his words. Some of them had already begun to experience this detachment, feeling a growing distance from their old lives.
"But this process is not easy," the Guru warned. "As the matrix shatters, you may feel disoriented, as if the ground beneath you has been taken away. This is because your entire sense of self has been tied to the matrix. When that matrix starts to dissolve, it feels as though you are losing everything that once made you who you are."
The Struggle of Reentry: Understanding the Possibility and Consequences
Sadhguru Adwaitananda’s gaze moved steadily across his disciples, his eyes sharp yet compassionate, sensing the gravity of the message he was about to share. "There is a point on the path where many seekers falter," he began, his voice deliberate. "As your ego begins to dissolve, it clings to the familiar for survival. The ego, in its last desperate efforts, tries to pull you back into the matrix of your old life because it fears its own extinction. Many of you may feel an urge to return to what you once knew, to the comfort of your previous way of being. You think you can balance the comfort of the known with your spiritual journey. But listen carefully—it is not that simple."
Some disciples shifted nervously, recognizing the inner tug-of-war they were facing.
"The truth is," he continued, "you cannot reenter the same matrix after awakening. The person you were before no longer exists. Your consciousness has expanded, your awareness has shifted, and the energy that fueled your old life has irrevocably transformed. If you try to slip back into your old patterns, it will be like wearing clothes that no longer fit—tight, suffocating, and ill-suited to the new you. Relationships, career ambitions, and desires that once mattered may now feel shallow or meaningless. Forcing yourself back into that mould will only bring discomfort and suffering."
Then, with a pause, Sadhguru’s voice softened, sensing the apprehension in the room. "I understand how unsettling this realization can be. Awakening means shedding the old, leaving behind what you once clung to. This takes tremendous courage. But know this—the spiritual path isn’t about returning to what was; it’s about trusting that what lies ahead is far greater than anything you’re leaving behind."
He let those words sink in before adding, "However, there is an important truth about reentry that you must also know. In rare cases, there is a possibility of temporarily reentering the previous state, but only under specific circumstances—under the guidance and grace of a true Sadhguru or Shreeguru."
The disciples sat up, intrigued. Sadhguru continued, "One way this can happen is when the Sadhguru decides to lower the Kundalini Shakti of a disciple. You see, Kundalini is the driving force of spiritual ascent. When it rises, it pulls you out of your old matrix and into an expanded state of consciousness. But if, for any reason, the Sadhguru chooses to guide your Kundalini downward, it is possible to return to the earlier matrix—though this is done only under rare and specific conditions, often to address unresolved karmas or to stabilize a Sadhak who is not yet ready for the next stage."
He paused, scanning the room to see if they understood.
"Another way this happens," he said, "is when a Sadhak’s ego surges unexpectedly. In such moments, the ego may overpower the rising Kundalini, causing it to fall back to its dormant state. This fall, however, cannot happen without the permission of the Sadhguru. If the ego rises too abruptly, disrupting the Sadhak’s spiritual progress, the Guru may allow the Kundalini to descend temporarily. This, too, would allow the Sadhak to reenter the earlier matrix—but remember, this is not a return to the old ways for comfort. It is a temporary pause, meant to recalibrate the Sadhak for future progress."
Sadhguru’s eyes softened as he finished. "Understand that even in these rare instances, reentry is not truly 'going back' in the sense of regressing into ignorance. It is simply a necessary adjustment made under the Guru’s guidance. Ultimately, the path always moves forward, and with it, your consciousness expands to new levels of understanding. Trust in the process, and do not fear what you may leave behind, for what lies ahead is always the greater truth."
The disciples, absorbing his words, felt the weight of the journey ahead. They understood now that reentry was not a failure but a sacred tool under the guidance of their Guru, ensuring that their path remained steady and balanced.
The New Matrix: A Reality Beyond the Ego
"What awaits you," Sadhguru continued, "is not just the destruction of the old matrix, but the creation of a new one. As your consciousness expands, you begin to enter a new realm of existence, a matrix that is not governed by the ego, but by divine awareness. This is the realm of truth, of Satya, where the illusion of separation dissolves, and you experience oneness with all of existence.
In this new matrix, your sense of self shifts from the limited ego to the boundless self—the Atman. You no longer see yourself as separate from others, from nature, or the divine. You recognize that everything is interconnected and that the same divine consciousness flows through all of creation. This is the state of enlightenment, the ultimate goal of the spiritual journey."
Sadhguru's eyes glowed with an inner light as he spoke. "In this state, your actions are no longer driven by desire or fear, but by pure awareness. You live in harmony with the flow of existence, no longer bound by the compulsions of the mind or the attachments of the ego. This is true freedom, the freedom from suffering, from karma, from the endless cycle of birth and death."
The Challenges of Living in the New Matrix
"But," Sadhguru added, "even after awakening, the journey is not over. The new matrix comes with its challenges. You must learn to live in this expanded state of awareness while still existing in the physical world. The ego may try to reassert itself, and old patterns may resurface. But now, you have the awareness to see these patterns for what they are—illusions, remnants of the old matrix."
The disciples listened intently, their minds absorbing the wisdom like parched earth drinking in rain.
"You must remain vigilant," Sadhguru continued, "and practice detachment from these old patterns. This is why meditation, self-inquiry, and devotion are so important. They keep you anchored in the truth of your new reality and prevent you from being pulled back into the illusions of the old matrix. Remember, the ego is cunning. Even after awakening, it will try to pull you back into its grasp. But if you stay rooted in awareness, the ego will eventually lose its power over you."
The Role of Grace in the Journey
At this point, Sadhguru Adwaitananda raised his hand, as if calling upon the divine. "And never forget the role of grace in this journey. No matter how much effort you put into your spiritual practice, awakening ultimately comes through grace—the grace of the divine, the grace of the Guru, the grace of existence itself. It is not something you can achieve through your willpower alone. You must surrender to the flow of life, and allow grace to guide you on your path."
The disciples closed their eyes in reverence, feeling the presence of divine grace flowing through the words of their Guru.
"Grace is what lifts you out of the old matrix and into the new," Sadhguru said softly. "It is what carries you through the challenges of awakening and sustains you as you integrate this new state of consciousness into your life. Trust in grace, and it will guide you home."
Conclusion: The Journey of No Return
As Sadhguru Adwaitananda concluded his discourse, the sun began to set behind the mountains, casting a golden glow over the sacred gathering. His final words hung in the air, like the last notes of a beautiful melody.
"Once you awaken, there is no going back. The matrix of your old life will no longer hold you, and trying to reenter it will only cause suffering. But do not fear this change. Embrace it. The destruction of the old matrix is not the end—it is the beginning of a new, more expansive reality. Trust in the process, surrender to grace and walk forward with courage and awareness. The path may be difficult at times, but the destination is beyond anything you can imagine. It is the ultimate freedom, the ultimate truth, the ultimate love."
The disciples sat in silence, their hearts filled with reverence and gratitude. They knew that the journey ahead would not be easy, but they also knew that they were not alone. With the guidance of their beloved Guru and the grace of the divine, they would navigate the shifting matrix of their existence and step into the boundless realm of truth.
Sadhguru Adwaitananda closed his eyes in meditation, and the disciples followed suit, feeling the presence of the divine within and around them. The journey of awakening had begun, and there was no turning back.
